Somedays I am excited to go to work, bouncing around in the morning, singing to my dog, grounded in my sense of self and ready to share my energy and space with others.
Other days I am resistant, depleted, unmotivated to even get out of bed and engage with the world.
Today I am indifferent. Rested and fully capable of seizing the day, starting early and finishing during the daylight hours. Instead I sit down at my computer, with a loaded french press, ready to create.
An Open Letter to Hospice Medical Social Workers:
Sometime when you work in hospice you don’t want to share all your energy with your patients, coworkers, family and friends. Sometimes when you work in hospice you need to retreat. You need to take personal time and create space for yourself. Sometimes when you work in hospice you get lost. Unable to make sense of your world anymore because you work and serve in a different world than most. Your world involves pain, fear, sadness, and confusion. Your world includes angry families, bargaining spouses, and delusional children. Your view of the world can be warped and you easily forget that’s the case.
A moment of beauty for you in your day might seem like a sad, pathetic moment for an outsider or someone looking through a healthy looking glass. Although, you see success when a nonverbal patient asks for a kiss, a bystander may see an infection control issue and poor boundaries. Sometimes you cry with joy when your patient sings along with you using the wrong words, a bystander hears two off pitch women singing nonsense and becomes annoyed. When you sit bedside, slowly feeding ice chips to a bedbound woman, making one-sided conversation to engage your favorite nonverbal patient, a bystander looks away quickly, feeling sorry for the situation.
You may feel like your work is often overlooked and undervalued by others, yet you know who you are and how you affect those in your reach. You often forget thats you work in an area that makes many uncomfortable and afraid because you aren’t.
You are a silent warrior.