What you see is not what anyone else sees. Period. We have to agree on this one idea before moving forward. Everyone has a different version of what they see, think, feel, and desire. Many people have similar outlooks in life linked to shared cultures, religions, experiences and relationships yet no one person is the same. Our experiences are unique to our own lives and we move through them reacting independenty, creating new outcomes or reinforcing old patterns.
A common mistake and often painful experience we all make is constantly striving to become someone we are not in order to please someone we love or percieve to be an important figure in our lives. From a very young age, we are shown from our parents, teachers, and friends how we are expected to behave, engage, and react. We are praised for behaviors that serve others in our environment and often reprimanded for behaviors deemed selfish or self serving. Each interaction solidifies the previous social expectation, reinforcing restrictive guidelines, and encouraging self limiting beliefs.
Once you become aware that your reality is unlike anyone elses’ based on personal perception alone, you begin to realise how your everyday beliefs may be creating or preventing your growth. A book I have found to be useful for those beginning their own path to their self discover is “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz. I return to this book annually to review and during times of uncertainty. This book will help you uncover patterns or ” agreements” that may be the backbone of your reality and can help you rework those agreements to be self serving rather than self defeating.
I recommend this to anyone who is searching for a way out of a life that is unserving and restrictive. If you feel like you just don’t understand anything about yourself or anyone in your world, this book can be a stablizer and a guide back to yourself.
You don’t have to read a book to realize that you are not in control of your world. You can look around at your daily interactions, review your relationships, and pay attention to your daily rules and rituals by which you live.
Did you decide to engage in these actiions and relationships intentionally?
Or do you preform certain tasks and engage with certain people because “that’s just the way it is” or “thats who you should be friends with or date”?
Did you make your own decisions or did someone, probably a concerned and loving friend or family member, suggest and encourage you to do so?
Do you ask other people what they think about your decisions before making them?
Do you care if people have a negative or positive reaction based on your decisions?
Do you change your mind to make others more comfortable?
If you have answered yes to any of the above questions you are not alone, but you are also not in charge of your own thoughts, feelings, and reactions. This is the first step to self discovering, intentionally recognizing the grind and daily pattern you engage in may not be your own. By shedding light on your current programs/patterns (agreements, ways of thinking, big life ideas) you can consciously decide what patterns should be changed, adjusted, or removed.
You have the power to change your reality with your thoughts. The first step is to uncover what you are thinking and determine if that is your thoughts or someone else’s ideas of what you should be thinking.
The next step will take you deeper into your own self discovery.
Step 2: Explore Yourself: Personal Likes, Goals, and Passions
Happy exploring my loves,
By Source (WP:NFCC#4), Fair use, https://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?curid=60431052