As you continue on your journey towards self discovery and a renewed and loving sense of self you may find that you are completely confused about your own personal likes, goals and passions. This is not uncommon. We spend the first quarter of our lives learning to be in a world with others based on their way of being and not our own unique selves. This is unavoidable. A child must rely on their parents or caregivers to survive during the few few years of life. A student must rely on their teachers and friends to provide examples for acceptable behavior when engaging in academia or a social setting. Your religious/spiritual leaders, should you have them, also shape your world view and may effect your choice of activities, hobbies, or artistic expressions.
For example, you may love to sing: Why is that?
- Did you start singing as a child because your mother sang to you daily?
- Did you begin your singing in a choir? Was it at school or a church?
- Did you remember a favorite aunt who would sing at family events and everyone would laugh and show love and gratitude?
You enjoy playing an instrument:
- Did you start playing because you were assisgned an instrument at school?
- Did your parents expect you to play an instrument? What was their motivation behind the instruments? (Artistic expression or Social Bragging?)
- Did you see a person on TV or in person playing an instrument and it touch your heart in a way that made you want to be like that person and learn to play?
Your favorite food is pizza.
- Did you make it from scratch with your grandmother when you visited in the summer?
- Did you get your first kiss on a date at a pizza parlor?
- Did your parents order pizza during a friday night and watch TV and movies with you at home?
- Did someone give you a pizza when you were starving and you experience a sense of safety and gratitude when you eat pizza?
You love to travel. Why?
- Do you have childhood/young adult memories of traveling with family and friends and having a blast?
- Did you never go on a vacation as a child and vowed you would travel as an adult?
- Did your parents, teachers, or significant other influence you to travel and try new things?
- Did someone tell you that you would never leave your home town, so you decided you would leave and go many other places in the process?
There are numerous ways our views of the world and its occupants are shaped on a daily, moment by moment basis. Each interaction we have with ourselves and others allows us to move closer to or away from our own personal passion, likes and goals. As adults, we now must take control over our thoughts and the resulting emotions. A huge part of learning who you are is discovering with curiousity and no judgement what you may like or dislike, have passion for, or yearn to do.
Today is a perfect day to start the process of moving closer to your own personal sense of self and uncover your own likes, passions, and goals.
Here is a list of excercizes that can help you start that journey: Take what you want and leave the rest. There is no right or wrong way to do this, there is just the way.
- 101 goals/wish List: Write down 101 things your would like to do, or wish to do. The word “wish” can be easier to work with if you are a person who is anxious about listing 101 goals. Creating a list can help you get your thoughts on paper and since thoughts create things (outcomes) this list can also jump start your creative process and you will start to achieve your goals more easily with clarity. Try not to limit your goals to ones that seem achievable, this is were the word ‘wish” can be useful. It will be difficult to get 101 things on paper, so have fun with it. Here are a few examples,
- Travel to Europe, Asia, South America, Texas, Florida, Spain, etc.
- Learn how to sew, dance, cook, read, write, bike, run, sing, etc.
- Make a cake from scratch, host a dinner party of 5,10,20 people, make pasta from scratch, etc.
- Learn a new language, learn sign language, learn a third language, teach a language to someone else.
- Get married, get divorced, date openly, date exclusively, etc.
- Have one child, have two children, adopt a child, foster a child, etc.
- Live in another country, state, by the beach, in a cave, on a mountain, etc.
- Earn a million dollars, retire early, pay off your house, buy a new car, buy a car for someone else, buy a car for a stranger.
- Write a book, write three books, host a podcast, host a television show, write poetry, etc.
- and the list goes on…..(don’t limit your goals/wishes)
- Sign up for a class at a local college or community center. (it could be for an activity from your 101 wish list)
- Get together with a group of trusted friends/family and talk about things you like, talk about your hopes and dreams, ask people in your life you respect how they found their path.
- Go to a restuarant alone or with a group who is adventrous and try different things on the menu, test out your taste buds and see if you like foods you have previously considered to be untasty. Our tastes change over time and are often shaped by what we were served as children in school or at home.
- If you hate onions, eat them various ways to see if your thoughts change (they may or may not)
- Try our a new food regime: Pescatarianism, Vegetarianism, Carnivore, Intermittent Fasting, Smoothies, different types of food from various cultures
- Challenge yourself to try new things so you can have contrast to know if you like something or not.
Basically, the goal of step 2 is to figure out what you are currently doing that aligns with your true passions and goals vs. what may be in there based on someone elses’ idea of how you should live. We are all programmed from a very young age to conform to the status quo for the benefit of our parents, teachers, clergy, and friends. You have a choice now as a newly informed and awakened adult to move past those restrictive and prescriptive behaviors on to a more authentic view and sense of your own self. Figuring out your likes, passions, and goals are essential in your journey towards you. (these are subject to shift as well during your journey so you can relax and know that your passions are fluid and your goals are attainable)
I encourage you to complete the 101 Wish List before moving on to Step 3.